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​    MELISSA

    MERMIN

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I started my photography career out of grad school in Boston in the '90s

as a product photographer for a design firm, but being confined to a studio bored me. I started freelancing for a local arts and music paper shooting live bands, which I loved but couldn't pay my rent on front row seats and image credits. Then I focused on high-end weddings and events shooting in a similar photojournalistic style and the porridge was just right. Over the past 25 years, my work has appeared in wedding magazines, art books and received mainstream press. In 2008 I was featured as one of the top twenty wedding photographers in the world. I loved being a rockstar wedding photographer.


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The 2008 post-economic crash combined with the rise of cheap digital cameras created an explosion of online visual talent (AKA pre-Instagram content creators.) The photography industry became even more saturated under its own weight and my hot career began to cool as I battled depression and personal struggles. I left my then-fiancé and business partner, moved from Boston to San Francisco to re-set and figure out who I was.

Going into the darkness turned on a light of introspection, personal growth and healing.

As I started shooting fewer weddings, I hustled doing other jobs- everything from entry-levels sales gigs to becoming a licensed California real estate agent for a few months, but I hated sales and working for someone else. I started attending workshops on love, intimacy and sexuality. I took an intensive training course at IASHS and received certification as a Somatic Sex Educator Neotantra bodyworker and I taught kink/sensual domination and erotic embodiment workshops.  I also became politically active: I was part of a panel of speakers on stigma, sex worker and LGBTQ rights, spoke at debates, fought for justice, women's healthcare,  organized filmart festivals and benefits, protested sexual violence, celebrated pleasure and marched at Pride (I do think the Rainbow Brite unicorn costume is my spirit animal; )

Berkeley therapist vibes;) Home page from my site erosevolution.com, 2017

Working in the field of  sexuality and "shadow" felt like the wedding industry flipped on its head which was refreshing-- it wasn't the perfect white dress on the perfect heart emoji day, happily ever after because love will solve all problems. (Not once have I ever seen a wedding publication write about sex in couples' relationships, yet sex and money are the two issues that drive couples to separate and we're told never to talk about them in polite company!) It was an amazing feeling to know the impact of my work made a huge difference in my clients lives-- to break free from shame, connect with their pleasure and to live their authentic lives out and proud. But *I* needed to live my authentic life. I missed being behind a camera and creating art. That was my true passion.

I shifted my focus from documentary weddings to sensual boudoir portraiture with a body-positive feminist perspective.

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I remembered after I graduated from art school, I had a side gig doing nude modeling for college art classes (and I was even featured in a commercial photoshoot.) While I did it for the money (hey, I got an art school education and BFA in Painting)-- it was also terrifying and exhilarating-- I stopped hiding who I was, it helped me to let go of my imperfections, be more comfortable in my body and sexual expression. So when I pivoted from seeing clients as a sex educator, I wanted to create fine art nude and sensual lingerie boudoir images that were for every body. I wanted them to feel completely comfortable with me before and after the shoot (especially hearing the horror stories I heard from models working behind closed doors with male photographers.) I was thinking of a name for this project to distinguish it from my wedding photography business. I was always drawn to the mythic story of the mermaid (the kids in school teased me and called me 'Ethel Mermaid' since I my last name sounded like 'Merman' and I embraced it.) Half women on land and half fish (which couldn't be seen when they were swimming in the water), they were part of the demimonde, the unseen underworld. The rough sailors at sea would be drawn to their beauty and tried to capture the women in their nets, but the mermaids were a step ahead and they lured the sailors to the bottom of the sea their powerful 'siren songs'. The divine femme wasn't submissive, she was empowered. She knew how to turn the tables, harness the male gaze and lure men in with her 'thirst trap' (isn't that the perfect allegory?) I started photographing women,  my sex worker friends who needed branding content and I came up with the perfect name: SirenSong Boudoir Photography

​In mid -2024, I had my third creative evolution, but it was a re-evolution, a courageous comeback that's currently unfolding.

In mid -2024, I had my third creative re-evolution, it brought me back full circle to where I left off when I shot my last wedding nearly a decade ago. During the pandemic I started working with a life coach and I had this epiphany: I learned that my passion, my purpose, what I'm great at and what the world needs was sitting in front of me all this time, I had just turned my back on it. I started a whole new life and career to keep me from thinking about it. I knew why I had quit-- my Ikigai was out of whack (all the circles were aligned perfectly but that yellow circle, she did lots of side hustles to stay connected with the others.) So here I am today, marketing my accomplishments, admitting my failures and courageously announcing my comeback as a full-time (and well paid!) wedding photojournalist.

​​I finally opened up the beat-up box of ancient hard drives, DVDs and wedding magazines that I've schlepped over several moves. It always sat in the back of a closet as a pile of memorabilia that one day I would comb through and organize. As I started looking at my weddings spanning over 25 years (many are film scans) and uploading the to the Cloud, I reminisced about what happened at the event, the challenges, the magic moments, what the couple was like and how I felt during and after the event.  

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I remembered how much I actually enjoyed the things that made weddings a challenge and how I overcame the obstacles to get the great images.  

 

Chasing the good light (light is key!) scouting to find the good locations, dealing with the weather, dark interiors with unflattering light, equipment issues, the mother of the bride following me around telling me who I need to photograph, the planner telling me the DJ is about to announce the cake cutting right as I'm having my first bathroom break, drunk guests grabbing me to dance with them while I'm trying to cover the reception. Trying to catch the rare unexpected moments that are meaningful to me as an artist while also making sure I satisfy mom, the couple as well as wedding publications/social media and other vendors at the event with the images they expect. Basically, being part of dazzling circus and I just have to keep juggling, twirling and pushing myself to get every little detail and tell the authentic story. Then after the wedding, once the images were edited, polished and ready to be released, I'd be so excited and proud to present them to the couple and get their email (OMG these are soooo amazing,...we can't believe you got that moment no one saw...you have no idea, I am literally crying and so is my mom...) It was totally worth whatever I had to get through to hear those words. 

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2024: TOO MANY PHOTOGRAPHERS ON THE DANCE FLOOR? 

In 2019, I was hired as the sole photographer/media person for this company's annual party, which I did  year after year.  As I was setting up to do portraits, there was suddenly a crew of Paparazzi and live content creators hired by another PR firm that swarmed in on the area I was shooting (hence my WTF face.) There were so many of us, women dressed all in black carrying professional gear in such a tight space it made it nearly impossible to not be in each others images. Are there too many photographers in the world chasing their dreams in a tight space? Probably. But in life, if you want something bad enough you gotta roll with the punches and take your shot.

 

I missed being Melissa Mermin the artist, the rockstar photojournalist that shot weddings all over the world and brought joy and memories to couples and their families (being Santa Claus except with dazzling pictures instead of toys.)  So, after working with a real web designer (who knows Wordpress and SEO) for several months, my website was birthed (on my birthday!) and I'm so proud of it. I joined Instagram this year for the very first time as Melissa Mermin the wedding photographer. I'm starting to connect with my local wedding industry community and re-connect with colleagues from my 1.0  life. It feels very familiar and very weird at the same time, kind of like going to your college reunion with the same hallways and rooms you remember but the only person there that aged is you. It also feels like I exited a time travel machine a decade into the future and I'm trying to catch up, figuring out how to navigate social media's algorithm while trying to stay in integrity of who I am as an artist.*

 

It's been a long, strange trip that I needed so I could re-set and appreciate being home. I'm also so grateful for the last decade trying on new hats, new identities, wild adventures and my sex educator, queerdo sex worker-rights community of badass babes. If I just stayed in my vanilla wedding photography world, I wouldn't have all the juicy stories that will fill chapters in my memoir (and I also discovered late in life I love creative writing.)

 

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More facts about Melissa

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  • Rides a bicycle almost every day 

  • Has 27 vintage cameras on display

  • Devoted plant mom and obsessed gardener

  • Knows too much about managing an Airbnb

  • Most creative between midnight and 3am

  • Can do a spot-on Boston and New York accent 

  • Starting to accept her gray hair 

  • Loves dad jokes and bad puns

  • Still thinks PB & J sandwiches are the best

  • Proud cat lady

  • Ever evolving, always a work in progress

  • Believes courage & honesty will set us free

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*Social media doesn't like art, they like 15 second clips of women dancing in their modern sexy kitchens with positive affirmation words floating by while kitten memes bob their heads to the catchy Chappell Roan song which makes it cute and funny and somehow...addictive and profitable? If you made it this far reading my site, congratulations! You and I clearly connect, so hire me for your destination wedding next year in the Maldives, your elopement next month in the Willamette valley or your blow-out 40th birthday in Tahiti with the Kardashians. Contact me here and we'll make some pictures together. 

visual storyteller

shame slayer

 general badass

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